Friday, July 15, 2011

Understanding your Partner

Falling in love is always magical. When in love we feel it will last forever. We naively believe that somehow we are exempted from the problems that other couples face and we are destined to live happily ever after. But as the magic recedes and daily life takes over,   women expect  men to feel and behave like women, and men expect women to think and react  like men. Without a clear awareness of our differences, we do not take time to understand and respect each other. We become demanding, resentful, judgmental and intolerant.

With the best and most loving intentions, love continues to die. Somehow the problems creep in, the resentments build. Communications break down, mistrust increases. The magic of love is lost.

To keep the magic going, it’s important to learn, understand and accept the differences as MEN and WOMEN.

Importance of listening

A woman just wants to share her feelings about her day, whereas her husband, thinking he is helping, interrupts her by offering a steady flow of solutions to her problems. Men should simply listen patiently with empathy, seeking truly to understand the other’s feelings.

Problem solving

Men feel better solving their problems alone. Women should understand and respect this. They hate being pitied.


A woman needs to remember that unsolicited advice or criticism especially when he has made a mistake it makes him feel unloved and controlled. He feels that she is treating him like a child.

Heated argument

Men should never walk out in middle of an argument. If so, women feel rejected and lonely, because silence is interpreted by women as being left out alone.  Whereas simple gestures by men like -touching, holding and listening are very important factors for women.

Communicate without blame

When a woman complains, a man takes it as blame. Many men fail to understand that women need to share “upset” feelings with the people they love. A woman usually expresses her feelings in superlatives and generalizations e.g.: “we never go out” -this may not be true in reality. ` 


A man’s deepest fear is that he isn’t good enough. But when he feels appreciated, trusted and accepted he feels motivated to give in more in a relationship. Women are happy when they believe their needs will be met.


“Little changes can be made without sacrificing who we are”.  This is the secret for a beautiful relationship. 


  1. “Little changes can be made without sacrificing who we are”. This is the secret for a beautiful relationship. Yes, very true..married life is not always a bed of roses. There will be ups and downs, fights, arguments and so on. Contentment and compromise will surely bring love and closeness to every couple. End of the day forgive one another which will help you to lead a loving and peaceful life together that in turn will reflect on your face and personality and make you a wonderful person in the society.
    Thanks Usha for posting such wonderful advice. i am sure it will help many couples to lead a wonderful and happy married life whether young or old.

  2. Shilpa Mss
    I was just going through your blog: Understanding your Partner. This is very clear & crisp.. good one!!! This has given me a clear picture as I just had an heated argument with my patner...Thank you for sharing your experience... Mumma guide rocks!!!

  3. We just celebrated 30 Years of married life,Its like having a color TV at home. never wish to go for Black and white one.i wish to put this way-The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their